MUSHROOMS & TRADER JOE'S

2012-01-21T22:31:00.001-08:00

So, we were bored.

Is there anything else to say?

Went to Trader Joe's, bought some apple smoked bacon(trader joe's brand) [we got the uncured thick ones, it's all part of my grand plan to stuff as much cheese on top of the mushroom as humanly possible], cloves of garlic, sharp cheddar cheese (trader joe's brand) and a ton of white mushrooms.

1. Pre-Cook the bacon, not crispy.

2. Wait for it to cool.

3. Wash some mushrooms and take off the nob thingie-whatever it's called. Don't use a knife to do it. Wash it first, then gently press on the nob until it pops off neatly, leaving a hole which you can fill with yummy goodness.

4. Wrap the bacon around the mushroom and cut off whatever is too long with a scissor. Don't cut too much or else you can't pierce it with the toothpick later.

IMPORTANT!!! KEEP THE MEATY SIDE OF THE BACON ON THE BOTTOM SO THE TOP IS WIDER THAN THE BOTTOM. (When you cook the bacon you notice that the fatty side stays longer than the meaty side, so it curls in one direction instead of staying straight. You want to hold as much cheese within the "Bacon Crown" as possible and you don't want the mushroom to fall out from the bottom, so you want the tighter side of the bacon on the bottom so it was a cone similar to a funnel but less exaggerated.)

5. Take a couple toothpicks and hold the bacon in place (don't pierce the mushroom or else the juices will flow out from the side)

6. PILE ON GRATED CHEESE.

7. Get some garlic and fry pan it until it's all crispy. Cut it up and pile it on.

8. Oven it at 350 until the cheese starts to crust a little.

9. Wait for the cheese to cool a little bit so it doesn't flow into your face and burn you.

I disclaim all burn liability. I am not McDonald's. I repeat, WAIT FOR IT TO COOL.

Now... I named the ring of bacon the "Bacon Crown", start using it with your friends. The cheese needs to be cool enough to stay in the "Bacon Crown" and hopefully you wrapped the bacon tight enough so that mushroom doesn't fall out. The goal is for all the cheese to NOT flow out of the "Bacon Crown" and for the mushroom to stay inside the "Bacon Crown" so you can just bite the entire thing like a bagel pizza.

EAT IT LIKE THE MONSTER YOU ARE.

As you can see, we had a bunch of different types of mushrooms going on... But most of them were epic fails. Just putting cheese on top doesn't work out well because the mushroom hole is not really big enough to hold enough cheese to really get that cheese flavor. The ones with asparagus were ok. The ones with cloves are garlic were ok but we had to pre-cook the garlic first. There were a bunch of other types that I did not include because most of them were fails.

The bacon-cheese-mushroom with garlic was by far the best combo. GO FOR IT. BE THE FATTY THAT YOU CAN BE.

FOOD FOR FATTIES

MUSHROOMS & TRADER JOE'S